A crazy day in band: Why our director hates us!
by MeleeMan
Summary: Please R&R. Marching Quotes and funny Band questions are up. And read the two crazy days in Band and see how dysfunctional my Band is!
1. A crazy day in Band

Why our Band Director Has Given up on our Band!!!!!  
  
We are a small Middle School Band, but we can create a pandora's box of problems.  
  
These are not exaggerations… they are all true!  
  
Imagine the band Room, with all of these things happening at once:  
  
  
  
Our third chair trombone just broke the fifth and final school trombone we have… (Note: He just got the first one today)  
  
Kris lost Mahler Symphony #3 for the 8th time.  
  
Our percussionists managed to drop the triangle metal-stick thing into the hole on the bass drum… Then…  
  
Alex knocks over the bass drum…  
  
Our second chair Oboe forgot her instrument for the 20th consecutive time. (That's four whole weeks!)  
  
Our second clarinets just informed our director that they are still playing on 1 ½ thickness reeds, when they should be using 3 ½.  
  
Our third chair Saxaphone just 'broke up' with her juvinille percussionist 'boyfriend' for the 5th time this hour.  
  
We got straight 3's at festival a few weeks ago (That's below average for bands in our area)  
  
In an attempt to set the bass drum back up, Zack sets it wrong, and it knocks over the snare drum… then the bells… then the vibraphone…  
  
Our baritone player just got the Timpani's tuning all screwed up.  
  
Kris just discovered the gong. (CRASH!)  
  
Our Picollo is yelling across the room for the answers to her Algebra homework.  
  
Our first chair tuba just locked our Baritone Sax in the French Horn locker. 


	2. Another Insane Day in Band: The frolicki...

1 Another Insane day in Band… (R & R)  
  
A follow up to "A crazy day in Band: Why our director hates us."  
  
There are a lot of references to the first one. Try to read it first. It's a few pages back in the archives of this section  
  
Note: These are not exaggerations. They are all true.  
  
Kris, (The same Kris from last time) trying to fix the copy machine, squirted in on his face & the band director's nice Khakis.  
  
Dan yells, "Hey Dude, remember this?" to the director and starts playing the Infernal Dance on his Baritone, purposely screwing up on every third note.  
  
(Sidenote: Our marching show last year was "Firebird"- a hell of a lot of extra 5 hour practices because our low brass couldn't play or march. Despite that we were a hell of a lot better than Annapolis and deserved 5th at state)  
  
Oh, there goes the Bass Drum toppling over again… And the Suspended symbol… and Matt's Tuba, and the Wind Chimes, and the Gong… (Imagine the noise.)  
  
Katie and Emily are lightsabre-dueling with their Clarinets  
  
Jeff just ran to the Bathroom to get the splinter from his 4-month-old reed out of his tongue  
  
Jacob just came back from dumping his slide oil outside of his History teacher's door (That stuff is more slippery on tile than anything I know)  
  
Heeding the advice of another fanfiction.net user, Mary just locked our most obnoxious trumpet player in the Band Director's Office.  
  
Matt, our Trombone for some reason is teaching our percussionists how to play a drum cadence.  
  
While doing that, Matt drops the only school trombone that has been fixed, and dents the Timpani head.  
  
Dave for some reason has an evil clown mask and is scaring our 3rd chair flutes.  
  
Bobby is picking his nose with the Director's baton.  
  
… And the Vibraphone again… The Congas… This is starting to look like dominoes… He, the Marimba made a big hole in the wall when it fell!  
  
Our Bari Sax is trying to play a piece of Piccolo music… Not pretty!  
  
Wait, how the hell did the Triangle beater get inside the Snare drum?  
  
Kris just told our director that He lost Mahler Symphony #3 (for the 10th time now!)  
  
Greg is chasing the rolling Bass drum out into the hall, where he slips on Jacob's slide oil! Ouch!  
  
Mike found the Stereo system for the band room… and he's playing… The Barney Song?  
  
Using her time well, our Piccolo (The same one from the 1st post) is not practicing, but writing the answers to the History test all over her sweater-covered arms.  
  
Is my wild, juvinille band the "Band from Hell" or what? 


	3. Marching Quotes

Another Day in Band............. MARCHING EDITION!  
  
Okay, considering in about a month or less many of you dudes and other people will be going off to Marching Band Camp or the like, I decided  
to make a special edition of the voices of our Marching Band!  
  
Here goes:  
  
Notes: (Name have been changed)   
Ash is our Drum Major  
Xander is our solo Sousaphone  
Al is a really religious guy, but is very obnoxious  
Mike is our Bari Sax (Yes, we are a small band)  
Tom is our annoying Tenor sax  
Mr. Schick is our director  
  
Ash: Mark time! 1-2-3  
Xander: Yeah, Boston Public's on tonight!  
Ash: Try it again! Mark time 1-2...  
Xander: Sick! a goose just crapped on my Bell! Sick!  
Shick: Who cares! Just start!  
Xander: I can't play that (sets it down), It's got pooh all over it!  
Shick: Wash it later!  
Xander:I'll wash it off now! (Runs over to a running sprinkler on the soccer field and washes it off, but this time the goose craps on him!) Crap!  
  
_______________________  
  
Everyone in the Band at the same time, including Shick: Tom your gay, shut up!  
  
______________________  
  
Paul: Right! Left! Right! Left!  
Is really:*Left* *Right**Left**Right*  
_____________________  
  
Mike: hey let's make GiGi carry the Bari case!  
(GiGi, or Greg, weighs 60 pounds)  
_____________________  
  
*In the Dorm*  
Amy: Mr. Shcick you were supposed to be out on the field an hour ago with the band!   
Shick: Wait, let me beat this level (He's playing Tigger for N64)  
  
_____________________  
  
Our menu at the dorm cafeteria consists of:  
  
-Bacon  
-Ice Cream  
-Some green slop (I think it was in Matt's T-Bone)  
-Count Chocula  
-Asparagus (Huh?)  
-EZ CHEEZE  
-Salt  
-Sugar  
-Butterscotch Pudding  
-Slide Oil (Yeah, that's for the Baritones)  
______________________  
  
*On the Field*  
  
Shick: Go to the swirlie formation, and I don't mean putting Tom in the Toilet!   
_____________________  
  
Bart: Hey Josie? Did you ever fix that loose mouthpiece? OK, good! lets see houw far into the parking lot we can fling your trumpet!  
_____________________  
  
*After we get back the notes from the competition*  
  
Schick: Why the hell does everyone think it's a tepee? It has lava and it smokes and it glows orange! (The volcano from Firebird)  
____________________  
  
Xander: Oh my God! The geese are back, and they brought friends!  
____________________  
  
Morgan: Their not Clown Costumes, there Firebird thingy-do-bops!  
(Our color guard had full body "fire costumes" with multi colored streamers)  
____________________  
  
  
Bill: But didn't he say 'last time' twelve times ago?  
____________________  
  
Okay, these were bad, but I'll have more soon! 


	4. Questions My school Band(s) ask!

Hey Drum Majors and Drum Majorettes! I decided to add another chapter! This one has questions some of our Band members have asked!  
  
  
  
  
  
Questions of our School Band! (MS, HS, and HS Marching)  
  
Can we go home now? It's almost Midnight!  
  
Can we PLEASE give Tom a swirlie?!  
  
Why the hell does everyone think our volcano is a Tepee? It has lava and lights and smoke? And do you see any Native Americans!?  
  
Is it bad if there's a paper wad around the second bend of the Mellophone?  
  
(Day of Competititon) Do we have to march today or can we just walk?  
  
What does the big curly cue thing before the ¾ mean?  
  
Mr. Schick? It's 1:30 AM! Can we go home, PLEASE?  
  
What side to you hit the Bass Drum on? What about the Snare Drum?  
  
If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, then why do we have to practice?  
  
Why don't we just do what Annapolis does and get 12 people to stand on a cart and play music, while the colorguard dance around us? We won't get many points cut off for Marching skills!  
  
Does anyone have a padlock to keep Bean from getting out?  
  
Mr. Schick? Can we go home? It's 3:30 AM, isn't 9 ½ hours on the field enough practice?  
  
Picollo: What's the answer to #14?  
  
Mr. Shick? I broke the 5 trombones you gave me- can I get another Trombone?  
  
How long would Bean last in the French Horn locker? 2 hours? Good!  
  
Dang, I know the football coach hates band, but DOES HE HAVE TO TURN ON THE SPRINKLERS?  
  
  
  
(Being out of school now it's hard to get fresh Mateial but I will continue to post. I Awugust I'll start doing more again!) 


End file.
